She’s baaaaaack

I know I know… did you guys think I had fallen off the face of the earth? October-December is a busy, busy time for us.  With anniversaries, birthdays, then the holidays… it was hard to find a moment free.  Count in working full-time, watching my sweet pseudo niece (bff’s little girl) on Wednesdays then Zumba-ing EVERY night I had free…. I let me witty little blog, slip to the wayside.  I decide it’s better late than ever to jump back into the game.

So what’s changed?  Well, I have lost a total of 27 lbs…woo hoo!  I had lost 25 by Christmas (my goal was 30 so not bad)… I gained 2lbs last week when the holiday weight finally crept up but I had a really good weigh this week of 4.4 lbs!  I’m close to 30 and I hope to reach it by the end of the month!  I’m still following the WW plan.  I was very OP (on-point) last week and Zumba-ed a total of 6 hours so for anyone who says the plan doesn’t work…. It does J  I’m drinking plenty of water, trying to get rest (keyword…trying),and  controlling my portions.  I have a lot more energy.  My clothes are starting to sag quite a bit and people are definitely beginning to notice the change.  I’m almost 1/3 of the way in my journey.  My goal as of right now is somewhere between 80-90 lbs, so if my progress continues I’ll hopefully be at goal by this time next year.

I have a lot of EXCITING things coming up.  I’m going to have to list them in order to not forget!

1.        I have 2 sweet and dear friends having baby girls this year.  My one friend Brittnee has been one of my closest friends since we were in diapers, she and her husband Brett are having Baby girl Braylee in May.  My other friend Heather is an ex-coworker that has blossomed into an AMAZING friendship, she and her husband John are having baby girl Leighton in March…. I LOVE LOVE shopping for baby girls!!!! I’m in the process of planning Brittnee’s shower and already shopping for both precious Braylee and Leighton!

2.       Another close friend of mine, also named Brittany, is getting married in June and I’m her Matron of Honor (sounds so old!).  So we are deep into planning mode and I cannot wait for all the festivities, esp an all girls trip to Columbus for the Bachelorette Party!!!  This also means I have a dress to fit and look fabulous in! I can’t wait for Brittany and Chris’ beautiful wedding! It will be fabulous!

3.       Last but not least,  I have registered to get my Zumba Instructor Certification in March!  I’m so excited and incredibly nervous.  I have become ADDICTED to Zumba in the past few months.  Being a dancer most of my life,  the routines bring up a familiar place for me.  I love Brickhouse Cardio Club (www.brickhousecardio.com) where I take Zumba.  My instructors Kristie and Jaime are AMAZING!  We have such a great group of girls and I’ve met some great friends!

Hopefully this gets me up to date.  I PROMISE to get better about this blog, I want to remember this journey.  Thanks for catching up with me J

I can hear the violins....

::Warning – this is one of those pondering life posts (I know, gag)  but I was struck with these thoughts and needed to get them out,  so it’s my blog and I will :o)::

Lord, put my feet on the path you’ve chosen for me, and let my heart be content.

(The message this morning on my little desk calendar)

I’ve never been comfortable in my own skin.  Even at my smallest in junior/high school at a size 8/10… I still never felt confident like other girls seemed to be.  I know that most girls are self conscience but mine was pretty serious.  Since I was never truly confident, my lack thereof forced to be the “nice” girl.  Now don’t get me wrong, I feel I have a good heart.  If I love you or even like you, I will give you 150% of myself and ask nothing in return.  However, there is a difference in being nice and being a doormat.  Unfortunately, I tended to be the doormat.  Since I can remember, my goal in life was to please everyone else.  I would never dare stand up for myself.  I took ridicule from stupid boys and mean girls, sometimes ridicule can be disguised in ignoring or making someone feel inferior.  I don’t know if people realize that the things they say to people, sometimes do not leave them.  Sure I’ve forgiven some of the nasty things that I have been done to me, but unfortunately I cannot forget.  Am I perfect?  ABSOLUTELY NOT.  I fell guilty to fitting in with people and I’m sure there were people during school whose feelings I hurt.  I hate that.  I can’t change it and can only move forward feeling satisfied that I’ve become a more mature person. 

I could never be one of those people that said “I don’t care what people think about me” (I’m sure I said it during a vent a million times).  The truth of the matter is, I never wanted anyone to NOT like me.  I always felt because I was a bigger girl, I already had a strike against me so therefore, I must not have any other strikes.  I need to have the best personality to make up for lacking physically.

A lot of people hide their pain with humor.  That would be me right here.  I’m the funny friend who is ALWAYS cracking a Smart A*s comment.  I LOVE to make people laugh.  There is something so gratifying in seeing people laugh at the things you say.  I’m genuinely a happy person but I don’t think I have ever been able to reach my full happiness potential.  This brings me to my current journey, reaching full capacity happiness.  I do NOT want people to think I’m ungrateful.  I have the best family and friends anyone could ask for, a wonderful husband, an awesome job, and my own home/cars/junk.  I should get down and Thank God EVERYDAY for all he has given me.  I feel like I owe to myself, my family/hubby/friends, and God to be comfortable in my own skin.  God blessed me with this body and it’s no one’s fault but MINE that is in the shape it’s in.

I hope I didn’t make you want to tear your eyeballs out and if you made it this far, thank you for taking the time to listen to my neurotic-ness . 

The week from the bottom pits of......

'm still here!  This has been the never-ending week.  From all day meetings, feeling under the weather and non-stop running errands.... i haven't had 2 minutes to myself.  I finally sat down tonight to update my iPhone with the new software.  I thought my phone will be out of commission for at least a hour from what I've heard...you mean a whole hour of no phone calls, texts, e-mails and fb notifications..... after this week that sounds like the angels singing the hallelujah chorus.  This is the perfect time to blog.  It was hard to even commit to this thought, usually during my hour or so of downtime, I like to catch up my reruns on my DVR but not tonight.  I need to blog.  I need to have for a lack of a better phrase, word vomit.

Okay.... let's start with this weeks weigh-in

On Monday; I weighed in with a loss of -1.8 lbs.  Not bad a-t-alll.  That is total of 12 lbs.  I'm proud of that.  I try to be optimistic, but 12 lbs is 12% of the weight I want to lose.  I feel like I'm so far away (sorry I'm a Debbie downer this week).  I pleased that I'm still progressing and haven't gained.......

like I probably will this week...

1. I sinned... I succumbed to the ol' mighty gluttony which is .....Olive Garden.  This past Tuesday was mine and DH's 3rd anniversary.  Our main anniversary present was the weekend before..... 11^th row tickets to see WVU vs. UConn (we won.. thank goodness).  We decided to keep it low key for our actual anniversary but to till have a little treat.  Olive Garden is my guilty please, DH knows this.  It started innocently enough…then the white wine came and said “heyyyy you little lush! You miss me???”  why yes, yes I do!!! 15 ounces later…. O m g.  what have I done??????  The breadstick and ½ is one thing… along with the chicken parm (lunch portion… I’m a lady) but 15 points worth of wine!  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Needless to say, I had a slight breakdown but my WW girls gave me some great moral support (thanks girlies!) and I have accepted it.  I have not been working out as well I liked.  My goal of 2 Zumba classes was met with 1 and I did the 30-day Shred twice last week and twice this week… so I’m getting better.  Staying OP has been a little difficult, I’m typically taking 2-3 out of WP a day but  I’m trying very hard.

So there it is, my week.  I’m still here, still fighting the fight.  Thanks for fighting with me :o)

I’ve been MIA and 2nd WW Weekly Weigh-in

I’m still here!  Last week was crazy busy.  I was in all day meetings W-F for work and by the time I got home in the evenings,  I was ready for bed!  I had a couple of OFF days last week.  I’m going to list them itemized so that I will know what my weaknesses are and how I can fix them.  First things first… Weigh in was this morning.

Week # 2: -8lbs

Week #3: -2.2lbs – total loss of 10.2 lbs

I’m good with my progress.  I did fall of the wagon a couple days this week so to still lose 2.2 lbs… I’ll take it.

Monday and Tuesday were okay.

Wednesday – This was our first all-day meeting and lunch was to be provided.  I was in a completely different section of the building where the fridge and microwave I usually use were not readily available.  They ordered pizza to feed the masses, so of course I fed my Ass(es).  I had 1 large slice and 1 small slice.  I calculated the points and listed it in my food journal. Pizza is my WEAKNESS.  I love it, I crave it, I need it.  I am proud of myself.  Before, I probably would have ate 3-4 slices but I didn’t this time.

Thursday – All Day Meeting #2… I was good this day (during the day….) We had a longer lunch break and I headed back to my section of the building and ate my Smart Ones Frozen dinner.  That evening, my husband and I went with my parents to visit a family member in the hospital about 45 minutes away.  We stopped at one of my parent’s favorite place, Steak and Shake.  Off topic for a minute, my mom is a Weight Watchers Success Story.  She lost 80 lbs in high school (back on the old plan, when you had to eat liver lol…) She has been on and off it since then but she is a great size right now.  She knows how to portion herself and what to eat.  Okay back to the gluttony.  My parents had mentioned earlier that day their plans, so I had already calculated what I would be getting.  The single cheeseburger (9.5 points) and a small fry (6.5).  I had plenty in the points left in the day to eat it but I STILL felt guilty.  My mom got a burger and a salad.  Why couldn’t I do that?  I’m not going to dwell but I need to learn to make the healthier choice, not always the tastier one.

Today is a new day and the beginning of week 3.  I’ve decided that it may help me to make small goals each week, so here are my goals for this week:

Attend 2 Zumba classes

Do at least 2 days of workout DVDs at home

Stay OP

Do not drink my WA Points worth of beer on Saturday @ the WVU game.

Thanks guys!

First Monday Weigh-In :o)

I made it! I made it to my very first weigh-in.  I've had anxiety all week.  I was excited this morning so it was the first thing I did when I got out of bed.  I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the number... it must be the scale.  So I stood on it again,  same number.  I thought the floor must be uneven (wtf?) so I took the scale from the bathroom into the kitchen... sure enough, same number.

Week 1 - I will eventually let the blogging world know my starting weight, at this point I'm not comfortable with that.
Week 2 Loss/Gain - (-8.0 lbs)
I'm so happy! I know this is not typical for every week but I needed this reassurance that I'm going in the right direction... especially after getting off track a little on Saturday....

more on that later...

Don’t be late….or I’ll punch you

I am a STICKLER for time.  I always give myself 15 minutes extra when it comes to leaving or arriving.  I like things done to be early and ahead of time. Do I have procrastinator tendencies?  Sure, I was the stressed-out college student that would be in the library to 2am because I worked better “under-pressure”.  I’ve always like to give myself a time window of when I want things completed.  I would love to sit goals like “I want to lose 50 lbs by Christmas” but that is unreachable.  For the first time in my life, I want to set a realistic weight loss goal… and beat the hell out of it.  I can’t count how many times that I’ve said, “I’m going to lose 30 lbs by (insert random event here – wedding, holiday, event where I will see and be seen by high school classmates)”.  The bottom line is that I’ve NEVER actually fully met that goal.  Granted, I lost about 20-30 lbs before my wedding, I’ve gained them back.  I have to live with fact that I was a “fat bride”.  I can’t dwell on that.  I would love to press the rewind button and go back, but I can’t.  Looking towards the future and the optimist side of me says it’s looking bright (while the pessimist side of me is saying “you’ll give up again, like you always do”).  I truly feel in it to win it this time.  I may have been the “fat bride” but I don’t have to be a “fat wife, mother, friend, and coworker” etc.  I want to be the BEST me, I can be.

So here and now, for the WWW to see, I’m setting 2 future weight loss goals.

1.        Lose 30 lbs by Christmas

2.       Lose 60 lbs by May 1st

I have alternative reasons for Goal #2.  Spring is going to be busy, busy, busy for me!  I’m hosting a bridal shower, baby shower, bachelorette party and going to MOH in a wedding!  I need to be svelte while doing all this!  I would love to treat myself with a hot LBD (little black dress) for the bachelorette party (heck maybe if I lost the 60 I’ll branch out from black…. At the size I am, I’m in constant funeral mode over here).  Maybe some think these goals are unreachable, maybe I’m setting myself up to fail.  I can’t say that I didn’t try.  I’m going to try my hardest. 

Thanks for reading J

Day 2 - Step Away from the Scale...

I wasn't very clear yesterday of exactly which plan I'm following.  I've decided to go with Weight Watcher's Online.  So far, I LOVE IT!  Being the technology dependent person that I am, it's been awesome!  I have the iPhone App right at my finger tips.  I can track, calculate, look up recipes and just about everything else... from my phone! woo hoo!  I've already made some internet friends on the sites and they have great message boards for 20-somethings....(nothing creepy like chatroom creepy....A/S/L?)

I made it to Day 2 with NO cheating (pause while I give myself a pat on the back). It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I met my points goal and did not go over. I wasn't overly hungry at anytime. I took the advice of many and spread my meals out throughout the day. I think a lot of getting the hang of this is scheduling!

I think my greatest diet investment so far has been a generic tervis tumbler. I got a cute little plastic cup (with purple zebra print...love animal print) with a straw at Big Lots for $5. It has made it SO much easier to meet my water intake. There is something easier about drinking water with cup/straw (OK.. maybe I'm just weird). I met my 8 "8oz" in NO time. I sure was clomping in my stilettos once an hour to the Ladies' Room.

I'm trying REALLY hard to only weight myself once a week. I know weight can fluctuate throughout the week and I don't want to get discouraged or get my hopes up. Hopefully, I can hold out till Monday!

What are some of your tips for staying on track?